Heather Cole Photography Blog » Blog

Signs. They are everywhere. Fortunately for me, I “saw mine” when I was 33, still alive and capable of making my life different. Not everyone has that choice. Not everyone is given a second chance to make all the wrongs in their life right. I do and if I don’t jump wholeheartedly into this opportunity I’m afraid that my chance will not always be here.

I’ve decided to share with everyone my progress as I go on this journey to get my health/LIFE back.  If it helps someone see their “sign” then every pain aching word I’m going to share will be worth it tenfold. Be prepared, it’s not always going to be pretty, it might be hard to hear, it might be embarrassing, but truth be told it’s all worth it because in the end….I’m still here. Still standing. Still being a mom. Still being a wife. Still being daughter. Still being a sister. Still being a friend and along the way hopefully saving a few other lives as well as my own.

February 2012. I received a call that someone very close to me had a cat scan done on their lungs and now the doctors wanted them to come in and talk to them about the results.  Sheer terror ripped through my body. Please God, tell me this isn’t happening again. Please God, don’t tell me that another loved one is being delivered a death sentence. Please God, tell me it’s not Lung Cancer. I survived the loss of my father, but I can’t do this again. They asked if I would come with them for support. Without a doubt, I said yes.  I arrived at the facility and instead of my cheerful greeting I was a little subdue. In the waiting room I sat there quiet and I found myself thinking in my head, “why are you acting this way? What is wrong with you?” But I sat there with them and I realized I was upset. Instead of putting my arm around them or rubbing their back reassuring them it was going to be okay, I sat there silent. Then upset turned to anger. How could they do this? How could they not stop smoking? Was I not enough? Was living life with me and my family not enough? My mind directly went to the worst, what IF something was wrong. What if it’s to late to erase? I’m not the only one I have to worry about now, I have two daughters that I have to be scared for. How will they react to the news that one of the people they love the most has Cancer? How will this change their lives? How will I explain? The good news is, as my mind unfolded every bad scenario, the doctor said that it’s not likely cancer, but we needed to schedule an appointment with a Specialist.  Not sure if I was relieved or confused. The good news – the “C” word wasn’t thrown around like a rag doll so for now I could put the worst case scenario to bed.  The drive home I called my husband and told him what the doctor had said. As I was describing to him how angry I was I started to carefully listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I was mad at THEM because this addiction they had on cigarettes quite possibly jeopardized my life with them and yet despite every warning sign they kept doing it over and over. Slowly I started to reflect on my life. I was such a hypocrite. I might not be puffing on the cigarettes but I am picking up the Doughnut instead of the yogurt for breakfast. I AM running to McDonalds for a quick lunch because I made no time to plan out my day. I AM eating  double portions of dinner followed up by dessert because…why not? I love food!! I’m slowing killing myself every bite at a time every pound at a time. OH MY GOD….have I been THIS BLIND? I’ve always battled my weight for one reason or another but NEVER did I start the diet because I WANTED TO BE HEALTHY!! It was all about the number on the scale and the size on the clothes. Sad to say – for a long time – I valued my self worth on those numbers. If they were low, I was pretty.  I was worth having a boyfriend and “life was good”. If they were high…well you get the picture.

{ENTER STAGE LEFT – MY SIGN} If I continue on this path, it’s going to be my husband explaining to my daughters why mommy is no longer here. They are not going to understand. They are going to be angry. Losing their mother at a young age will change their lives forever. They are going to ask why food was more important. They are going to ask why they weren’t enough. I’ve been there. I’ve been that daughter, the only difference this time…is that I have time. I can erase what I’ve done.  I have a second chance. Ironically, my father hasn’t stopped being a father just because he’s no longer here on earth. He’s still teaching me life lessons and making me a better person, mother, and wife each and every day.

Last month I vowed to change my life. I vowed to share my story with as many people as I can no matter how uncomfortable it is for me. I vowed to be a better wife, a healthier wife, and an all around better partner for my husband. I vowed to show my daughters that you can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it. I vowed to show them life with them is more important, and they ARE ENOUGH. It’s never too late to have your moment of clarity. It’s never too late to give yourself a second chance. Truthfully honest…..I’m tired of being depressed when I walk in my closet. I’m tired of making excuses to not go out because I don’t have anything cute to wear. I’m tired of my body hurting when I get out of bed. I’m tired of missing out on pictures with my kids because I don’t want to be IN the pictures. I’m tired of not feeling sexy for my husband. I’m tired of not feeling confident about who I am. I’m….tired.

Instead of being tired ONE MORE DAY, I decided to join the 90 day Challenge with Body By Vi. I ordered the Transformation Kit the first week of March and TODAY marks my ONE MONTH on the program. Here’s what a normal day looks like now:

My daily menu looks like this:

Breakfast – Body By Vi Shake

Snack: (almonds, yogurt, celery with peanut butter, apple, cottage cheese, string cheese etc)

Lunch: Body By Vi Shake

Snack

Dinner: What I normally cook only PORTION CONTROLLED!!

3 times a week I either walk or do the elliptical (WHICH I LOVE).

For the first time, I have been able to make something QUICK that works well with my busy life. I know for sure that for two meals a day (whichever you choose) I’m feeding my body tons of proteins, nutrients and vitamins and I’m satisfied and full. I never feel like I’m wearing the “diet hat” and I never feel like I can’t enjoy all the things in life – it’s called MODERATION!!!

I will say I’m a sweet tooth girl and after being on Body By Vi for a month now I can honestly say that I haven’t had any sweet cravings. You know the kind, where it’s 8:30 and you’re making a deal with the devil because you want that bowl of ice cream SOOO bad.I also haven’t ever felt like  I want to rip my hair out because I’m frustrated that I can’t eat out or enjoy LIFE with friend. Which would inevitably lead me to being a bitch because I was grumpy or irritable.

Here is what I AM:

1. Full of energy

2. Motivated to exercise

3. Happy that every day I’m one step closer to the new me

4. DOWN 17 lbs

5. DOWN 23.5 inches

6. Excited for tomorrow. Because I know each day puts me one step closer to my goal

7. Grateful that every step of the way I have had so many supporters. That’s what I love about this program – WHAT A SUPPORT GROUP!!!

So there you have it. The good the bad and the ugly.

If you’d like to know more about the challenge you can email me at heather@heathercolephotography.com or you can JOIN THE CHALLENGE WITH ME HERE!!!

MY 30 DAY PROGRESS PICTURES – 17lbs down 23.5 inches off my body (neck, chest, upper arm, lower arm, waist, hips, thigh, calf, ankle)

For those of you who know me well – this candor is hard for me. Weight is a very sensitive thing and it’s been a battle for me for as long as I can remember. You have to stop waiting for that “Monday” to arrive or the “first of the month after your birthday party” to to start getting your health back because life is too precious to wait another minute. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of YOU for yourself and everyone around you. I’m excited that for the first time in my life – I have come to a place where my HEALTH is priority one and LIVING means more to me than bad choice over bad choice. I thank you for being a part of this journey with me, rooting me on every step of the way. I can’t imagine what the girl on the right will look like in another 30 days…..here’s to finding out.

 

Love,

Heather