I’ve decided to share with everyone my progress as I go on this journey to get my health/LIFE back.  If it helps someone see their “sign” then every pain aching word I’m going to share will be worth it tenfold. Be prepared, it’s not always going to be pretty, it might be hard to hear, it might be embarrassing, but truth be told it’s all worth it because in the end….I’m still here. Still standing. Still being a mom. Still being a wife. Still being daughter. Still being a sister. Still being a friend and along the way hopefully saving a few other lives as well as my own.

February 2012. I received a call that someone very close to me had a cat scan done on their lungs and now the doctors wanted them to come in and talk to them about the results.  Sheer terror ripped through my body. Please God, tell me this isn’t happening again. Please God, don’t tell me that another loved one is being delivered a death sentence. Please God, tell me it’s not Lung Cancer. I survived the loss of my father, but I can’t do this again. They asked if I would come with them for support. Without a doubt, I said yes.  I arrived at the facility and instead of my cheerful greeting I was a little subdue. In the waiting room I sat there quiet and I found myself thinking in my head, “why are you acting this way? What is wrong with you?” But I sat there with them and I realized I was upset. Instead of putting my arm around them or rubbing their back reassuring them it was going to be okay, I sat there silent. Then upset turned to anger. How could they do this? How could they not stop smoking? Was I not enough? Was living life with me and my family not enough? My mind directly went to the worst, what IF something was wrong. What if it’s to late to erase? I’m not the only one I have to worry about now, I have two daughters that I have to be scared for. How will they react to the news that one of the people they love the most has Cancer? How will this change their lives? How will I explain? The good news is, as my mind unfolded every bad scenario, the doctor said that it’s not likely cancer, but we needed to schedule an appointment with a Specialist.  Not sure if I was relieved or confused. The good news – the “C” word wasn’t thrown around like a rag doll so for now I could put the worst case scenario to bed.  The drive home I called my husband and told him what the doctor had said. As I was describing to him how angry I was I started to carefully listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I was mad at THEM because this addiction they had on cigarettes quite possibly jeopardized my life with them and yet despite every warning sign they kept doing it over and over. Slowly I started to reflect on my life. I was such a hypocrite. I might not be puffing on the cigarettes but I am picking up the Doughnut instead of the yogurt for breakfast. I AM running to McDonalds for a quick lunch because I made no time to plan out my day. I AM eating  double portions of dinner followed up by dessert because…why not? I love food!! I’m slowing killing myself every bite at a time every pound at a time. OH MY GOD….have I been THIS BLIND? I’ve always battled my weight for one reason or another but NEVER did I start the diet because I WANTED TO BE HEALTHY!! It was all about the number on the scale and the size on the clothes. Sad to say – for a long time – I valued my self worth on those numbers. If they were low, I was pretty.  I was worth having a boyfriend and “life was good”. If they were high…well you get the picture.

{ENTER STAGE LEFT – MY SIGN} If I continue on this path, it’s going to be my husband explaining to my daughters why mommy is no longer here. They are not going to understand. They are going to be angry. Losing their mother at a young age will change their lives forever. They are going to ask why food was more important. They are going to ask why they weren’t enough. I’ve been there. I’ve been that daughter, the only difference this time…is that I have time. I can erase what I’ve done.  I have a second chance. Ironically, my father hasn’t stopped being a father just because he’s no longer here on earth. He’s still teaching me life lessons and making me a better person, mother, and wife each and every day.

Last month I vowed to change my life. I vowed to share my story with as many people as I can no matter how uncomfortable it is for me. I vowed to be a better wife, a healthier wife, and an all around better partner for my husband. I vowed to show my daughters that you can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it. I vowed to show them life with them is more important, and they ARE ENOUGH. It’s never too late to have your moment of clarity. It’s never too late to give yourself a second chance. Truthfully honest…..I’m tired of being depressed when I walk in my closet. I’m tired of making excuses to not go out because I don’t have anything cute to wear. I’m tired of my body hurting when I get out of bed. I’m tired of missing out on pictures with my kids because I don’t want to be IN the pictures. I’m tired of not feeling sexy for my husband. I’m tired of not feeling confident about who I am. I’m….tired.

Instead of being tired ONE MORE DAY, I decided to join the 90 day Challenge with Body By Vi. I ordered the Transformation Kit the first week of March and TODAY marks my ONE MONTH on the program. Here’s what a normal day looks like now:

My daily menu looks like this:

Breakfast – Body By Vi Shake

Snack: (almonds, yogurt, celery with peanut butter, apple, cottage cheese, string cheese etc)

Lunch: Body By Vi Shake

Snack

Dinner: What I normally cook only PORTION CONTROLLED!!

3 times a week I either walk or do the elliptical (WHICH I LOVE).

For the first time, I have been able to make something QUICK that works well with my busy life. I know for sure that for two meals a day (whichever you choose) I’m feeding my body tons of proteins, nutrients and vitamins and I’m satisfied and full. I never feel like I’m wearing the “diet hat” and I never feel like I can’t enjoy all the things in life – it’s called MODERATION!!!

I will say I’m a sweet tooth girl and after being on Body By Vi for a month now I can honestly say that I haven’t had any sweet cravings. You know the kind, where it’s 8:30 and you’re making a deal with the devil because you want that bowl of ice cream SOOO bad. I also haven’t ever felt like  I want to rip my hair out because I’m frustrated that I can’t eat out or enjoy LIFE with friend. Which would inevitably lead me to being a bitch because I was grumpy or irritable.

Here is what I AM:

1. Full of energy

2. Motivated to exercise

3. Happy that every day I’m one step closer to the new me

4. DOWN 17 lbs

5. DOWN 23.5 inches

6. Excited for tomorrow. Because I know each day puts me one step closer to my goal

7. Grateful that every step of the way I have had so many supporters. That’s what I love about this program – WHAT A SUPPORT GROUP!!!

So there you have it. The good the bad and the ugly.

If you’d like to know more about the challenge you can email me at heather@heathercolephotography.com or you can JOIN THE CHALLENGE WITH ME HERE!!!

MY 30 DAY PROGRESS PICTURES – 17lbs down 23.5 inches off my body (neck, chest, upper arm, lower arm, waist, hips, thigh, calf, ankle)

For those of you who know me well – this candor is hard for me. Weight is a very sensitive thing and it’s been a battle for me for as long as I can remember. You have to stop waiting for that “Monday” to arrive or the “first of the month after your birthday party” to to start getting your health back because life is too precious to wait another minute. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of YOU for yourself and everyone around you. I’m excited that for the first time in my life – I have come to a place where my HEALTH is priority one and LIVING means more to me than bad choice over bad choice. I thank you for being a part of this journey with me, rooting me on every step of the way. I can’t imagine what the girl on the right will look like in another 30 days…..here’s to finding out.

Love,

Heather

SERIOUSLY – CAN YOU BE ANY CUTER!!!???

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. It’s simple to love you. You have a a huge giving heart, you are loyal, you are loving, you are devoted, you are a good friend, you are supportive, you are patient, you are kind, you are an amazing father, and a wonderful provider for our family. You are a hard worker, you are driven, you are successful in all that you do, and you love me no matter what. It’s simple to love you…every inch of you. Our blessings are many and I thank God for you every day. Happy Birthday to you. I love you.

xoxoxoxo

Me

First things first – WE MOVED!!! Let me tell you one thing about moving – I HATE IT – To the core. The packing, living out of a suitcase, the moving, the unpacking, the chaos. YUCK, YUCK and TRIPLE YUCK.

The move for me was also harder than expected because our first move was when Olivia was two years old so for her – it didn’t phase her. This time – she’s eight and it wasn’t just about Jake and I moving this time, we also had a little “mini – adult”, Olivia, who it was effecting, and BOY DID IT EFFECT HER!! The last night in our house – she cried so hard knowing it was the last meal at our table in that kitchen together, the last time she’d sleep in her room. Jake and I were heart broken for her. Jake came up with the idea that Olivia could write the house a letter (yeah – get ready for a tear jerker). She of course thought it was the best idea since sliced bread so she began her note…and it started….” Dear house – you were a good house, and I had many good feelings here…” Yeah – insert knife into heart!!!! The truth about the matter is this house was and will always be very special to us. Olivia spent most of her life in this house and Jillian was born in this house – so yeah – you could say it was hard to leave.

But when one door closes – another opens and with that we moved on to our new house.

This house is pretty exciting for us for several reasons, first – it’s the first time we’ve built. So picking out every little detail in this house was fun and to see it all come together in the end, was very rewarding. Not only we were excited to build this house, but we also chose a lake lot which if you know ANYTHING ABOUT US – we LOVE to be outdoors. So in our spare time we are either swimming, fishing, canoeing, or riding on our friends boat around the lake. So we are excited to be LIVING in a house again. No boxes floor to ceiling, not having to keep it in “show quality”. We absolutely love our house, the lake, our neighbors and just being able to enjoy ourselves as a family.

*Here is a pictures of Olivia and her new two best friends, Brighton & Saylor in our backyard.

So – now that I’ve blabbed on an on about our house – how about the girls!!?? Well – Olivia and Jillian are growing LEAPS and Bounds. Olivia will be going into the third grade this fall and that is SCCCAARRYY!! Something about THIS summer, she’s just grown up SOOO much this summer. She’s so beautiful, so kind and loving. We are just so proud of her, who she is and what a great big sister she is.

Jillian (aka Bean) – my oh my – this kid is blowing our mind EVERYDAY. She’s 20 months old now going on 14 years old (you all know how that is). She loves the new house – loves to go on the deck and look at the duckies, loves to swing and play with her buddies “SAYLOOR and BIGHTON”. She started swimming in the lake this weekend and by day two wanted to do it all by herself as I got a “I do it, I do it” a hundred times. I swear she’s going to be 10 in a blink of an eye. She’s such a joy in our lives and I wonder how we ever lived without her.

*This is one of Olivia and Jillian. As you can see – Jillian is saying “CHEESE”. It blows my mind how different they look from each other. HA HA!

Yep – DIVA. OH LORD HELP ME!

So that’s what we’ve been doing. I promise I have a HUGE list of sessions to blog – so keep coming back and checkin things out. I promise – It won’t be 4 months until I blog again. I PROMISE!!!

MUCH LOVE!!

Heather

Fact: She lives in Illinois and drove 7 hours for her engagement session (um..wow..I love her)

Fact: I love the fact that Bret and Nick completely trusted me and allowed me to do WHATEVER I wanted during this shoot (see my favorite picture at the end)

We were running out of light so what did I do…Light em with my headlights!! Aww yeah!

FAVORITE!!! AYKM???

Bret and Nick -

Thank you for driving all this way for your engagement pictures. I’m sooo excited about your wedding!! Thank you for choosing me.

Love you,

Heather

First – my husband who had been training for 9 months, climbed Mt. Rainer. Yeah…I said, MOUNT RAINER!!! My husband is beyond amazing. His dedication to the training and the CLIMB ITSELF- it’s remarkable. Here are a few pictures from his trip that I LOOOVE!!

Baby – you are as hot as they come!! WOW to that!!!

Hiking as the sun was coming up…isn’t it beautiful!!

LOOOVE this one.

The SUMMIT!!

As Jake was climbing his mountain, Olivia just finished her first ever trip (eight days) without mom or dad. I had a family reunion take place in Wyoming and since I had a wedding I couldn’t attend. My mom asked if she could take her by herself and after thinking about it for a while, I thought it would be a great experience for Olivia. She came home completely grown up. I think she grew 4 inches and aged a year.

Olivia and Nana (my mom)

Olivia and her cousin (and new BFF) Hayley Jo

Jillian is also changing in front of my eyes!! In a blink of an eye, my daughter has gone from a baby – to an EIGHT MONTH OLD. She has five teeth now, and is crawling!! Holy Cow – how is the possible?? Here are some updated pictures of her at 7 1/2 months.

Okay seriously?? How cute are they??

Last but not least…me. Well I’ve been shooting A LOT. Engagements, families, weddings, it’s awesome!! I’ve also been working hard at my goal to lose some weight. I’ve lost a total of 17.6 so far. My good friend, Kassia, came over to visit and took some pictures of me and my girls for the first time since Jillian was 9 days old. Needless to say – it was the FIRST time I’ve felt good enough to be in front of a camera. The hard work is PAYING OFF.

Keep checking back for updates. I promise – it won’t be as long next time.

Hugs,

Heather

You have two days to choose from: (limit 20 people per date)

Monday, June 28th  9 am-7 pm

Monday, July 12th 9 am – 7 pm

Where – Kansas City (specific location determined based on number of attendees)

Cost – $500 (includes breakfast and lunch)

What are we going to cover – How to shoot in all types of light. We have three different models for the day – a child, a couple (engagement session) and a gorgeous bride and groom. After a full day of shooting we will be heading back to the studio where we will do more in depth editing together. We will also cover my image workflow from shooting, editing, filing, backing up, and client viewing sessions.

Just to show you how fun the last PLAYshops have been – check these out!!

Our most recent PLAYshop April 2010 – Jackie and Dillon – WOWZA!!

Our First PLAYshop June 2009

Learn how to take your pictures from this:

Our second PLAYshop August 2009

The third and COLDEST PLAYshop Feb 2010 (17 degrees and sleeting – yeah we still rocked that shit out)

What people are saying about the workshop:

“Heather, I can’t say it enough for everything that you taught me at your Playshop. I really am eternally grateful for you sharing all your wisdom and experience with us. Thank you so much!” – Ashley Cohn

“You are a natural when it comes to teaching Heather.  I love your style and energy and helped me realize I can do this!  You gave me that creative “push” to help me realize…Duh, Des!  You are worried over nothing!” – Desiree Dean

“I think it was a great Playshop and I learned a ton.  I have a wish list of photo stuff that I need and want to purchase…there are so many great products and services that I can’t wait to make it part of my business.  I really appreciate your honest opinions about my website and blog.  Thanks so much for the playshop.  I had a great time and walked away with new knowledge!” - Shauna Newton

“You probably already know I’m a HUGE advocate of your workshop. I’ve recommended it to every photographer I know. Yes, I’m that ridiculous. I can’t begin to thank you enough for everything you taught me. I walked out of your workshop with a new inspiration for where I was going as a photographer and how to get there. Since your workshop my work has grown and grown. The insight you gave me when you critiqued my photos allowed me to see how I could make my work better. I admit I’m so close to my work that it was hard to see where it was not as strong. It was wonderful to learn from someone with amazing talent who has such a passion for what they do. You are yourself and that is one thing I’ve had to learn in my business. Also, the portion on post processing changed my life (Yes, you read that right. It was Life Changing!!).I know for a fact I’ve become more efficient. You taught me techniques that I could refine to make my own post processing work flow. Thank you Heather for being so awesome. I’m so happy I had the chance to meet and learn from you early in my career.” - Julie Branyan

“I loved it all!!!! (I know its not specific!) Well…I loved the mock consultation, working with the models, all of the samples you showed us, the lesson on the computer…etc. I really loved every minute of it!” - Kerry Cornelius

For those of you who are interested in the ORIGINAL PLAYshop I will be holding another one on Monday August 30th (limited enrollment – only 10 spots!!)

What we cover at the ORIGINAL PLAYshop:

Branding
Marketing
Daily Workflow
How to enhance profit with print sales
Overview of all vendors I currently use
Photograph a couple together  (cover posing/lighting etc)
Take images and edit them together learn my “editing secrets”
Learn editing workflow
Find out how I was able to take my “hobby” and make it into my full time job WHILE juggling being a mom.

Price $400 (includes breakfast and lunch)

Located at my studio – Kansas City, MO

If you are interested in any of my PLAYshops please contact me at heather@heathercolephotography or call me at 816-318-9198.

Looking forward to seeing you soon!!!

The day to day life of having two kids and owning my own business has been challenging to say the least. Trying to juggle the shoots, the consultations, the editing and then being a mom has been harder than expected. If you want the honest truth – I don’t mind the chaos. I’ve learned how to be better organized and to make the time I DO have to work in my studio count, which sometimes means just unplugging. No facebook, no twitter…just work.

In addition to my crazy schedule life happened to throw us a curve ball when one of our best friends, Seth, went into the ICU. For those of you who are OLD blog readers you might remember this post I did about him in 2007. Seth went into KU Med Center’s ICU on Sunday May 16th having found out that he had not only pneumonia but that it was sepsis which was in his bloodstream. In human terms – HE WAS SUPER SICK. In addition to the tumors in his brain he’s been fighting since 2001, he had a stroke at the beginning of May and then the pneumonia was just too much and sent him back into the hospital. The whole week my husband and I were up there visiting as much as we could sometimes twice a day. Thank the LORD I have amazing clients who were flexible and allowed me to move their appointments around. I literally was a wreck and I couldn’t photograph ANYONE (thank you guys – I love you all so much). Seth had good days, and he had bad days but the one true constant was his wife, Jennifer. Not sure if you can even describe this woman. She loved taking care of Seth, loved being his wife and loved him like no other could. TRUE soulmates through and through.  She never left his side day and night praying each day the medicines they were pumping him with would turn him around. Unfortunately, he was too sick and after a week of fighting they had to remove his ventilator and he passed away on Friday the 21st. Talk about a life changing moment. I hurt for Jennifer as she sat next to Seth no longer breathing thinking about my life. Why am I so lucky? Why can’t her husband be alive like mine? Why can’t they have kids and raise them like Jake and I? I was hurting because I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell him how much I loved him and that he will always have a special place in my heart. I was hurting for my husband and all of my friends who loved him as much as I did. But in all the hurt, I somehow felt peace. Peace that Jennifer doesn’t have to watch her husband fight for life anymore and that he’s walking again in heaven. Peace knowing that even though I didn’t verbally get to tell him goodbye, he knows how I feel about him. Finally, after a few days I started feeling joy. Joy knowing that he’s in heaven, that he has no cancer, that he can walk again, that he’s seeing everyone he loved up there and knowing I’m sure my dad has already had him over for Sunday spaghetti (hee hee).

Watching someone you love die so young can really put things into perspective. Now I look at life like this… is this something that can be fixed? Will this situation (perhaps with time) get better? Is it really as bad as I think? I think more times than most – it IS fixable, it WILL get better and no – it’s NOT as bad as I think. Because truth be told it can easily (as I have witnessed) go the other way when it can’t be fixed, no matter how much time passes the situation won’t get better and yes – it is as bad as I think. Hopefully for everyone those “other times” will be far and few in between. I hope hearing about Seth helps open your eyes to understand life is too short. Each day – tell your loved ones how much you love them. If you are in a fight with a friend or a family member step back and think, is it worth it? Don’t think for one second anyone of us can’t easily be taken like Seth was and wouldn’t be awful if you had missed time with him/her because of something so trivial. Don’t sweat the small stuff people. It’s not worth it. Love every day. Love until you can’t love anymore.

Here’s a little something I made for Seth’s services. I hope you enjoy.

Even Jillian was excited about the project….

We have a DOLPHIN!!!

I think it turned out pretty good…how about you?

*I can only imagine the projects second grade will bring*

Special thanks to my husband, Jake. You seriously are THE BEST Dad in the whole world. I love your enthusiasm for all that life has to offer. Olivia, Jillian and I are lucky girls to have such an amazing man in our life. Thank you. I love you.

Heather