Food is a scary thing. I ate when I was sad. I ate when I was happy. I ate when no one was looking (yes you know you hide the wrappers too – doesn’t count if no one looks….right?). So – I ate – without a care in the world what I was putting in my mouth. Then you beat yourself up so much that you give up.  Then you eat some more!!! My thought process was that it was impossible to dig myself out now! Gone are the days where I had 15lbs to lose – I have 100lbs I want to lose.  That thought of that alone – turned me towards the food again. Food is a scary, scary drug.

47 days on the Body By Vi program and here’s what I have learned….

1. ANYTHING is possible if you believe in yourself

2. I AM in control. No one is shoving a McDonalds cheeseburger down my throat. YOU have the POWER to change your choices.

3. Excuses are a dime a dozen. Excuses are just that. No longer am I going to let a seven letter word hold be back.

4. It’s never too late

5. Being honest about your struggle with food is not embarrassing. It’s empowering to see I’ve gotten past that.

6. Nothing feels more amazing than when people say they can see the changes in you. They can see how much smaller you’ve gotten, they can tell in my face.

7. The icing on the cake is when your husband puts his arms around you and stops to wrap them around again – and say how much different your hug is now.

8. I crave VEGGIES. HOLY SHIT!!! I love Asparagus, Cauliflower, salad, Avocados, Broccoli and Tomoatoes!!!!

9. When I eat a raw apple and or strawberry I get the same feeling I had when I put a piece of chocolate in my mouth (never in a million years thought that was possible).

10. My brain is going to take a while to catch up with my body. I still reach for the bigger shirts, the bigger jeans. Going to take some time to get used to the new me. But all I have is time.

11. I actually like pictures of myself now….hence I’ve been taking more with my loved ones.

47 days down in my 90 day challenge and I’ve never been more excited to take my life back. I encourage anyone that reads this to join the challenge with me. It’s so awesome being a part of a group of people who are constantly helping each other reach their goals. The other upside to being on Body By Vi is that they have a refer 3 get yours for free and I have only paid for my kit ONCE. Every month thereafter has been for free. Nothing better than to lose weight and I get to do it for free!!!

I have 43 more days before I’m done with my FIRST 90 day challenge and right after this I’m starting another 90 day challenge – it’s NEVER TOO LATE TO JOIN ME!! I’ve been there – sitting on the other side of the monitor feeling like there’s no hope. But there is…and I can help. We can do it together. You are worth it.

JOIN THE CHALLENGE WITH ME HERE

Much Love.

Heather

I’ve decided to share with everyone my progress as I go on this journey to get my health/LIFE back.  If it helps someone see their “sign” then every pain aching word I’m going to share will be worth it tenfold. Be prepared, it’s not always going to be pretty, it might be hard to hear, it might be embarrassing, but truth be told it’s all worth it because in the end….I’m still here. Still standing. Still being a mom. Still being a wife. Still being daughter. Still being a sister. Still being a friend and along the way hopefully saving a few other lives as well as my own.

February 2012. I received a call that someone very close to me had a cat scan done on their lungs and now the doctors wanted them to come in and talk to them about the results.  Sheer terror ripped through my body. Please God, tell me this isn’t happening again. Please God, don’t tell me that another loved one is being delivered a death sentence. Please God, tell me it’s not Lung Cancer. I survived the loss of my father, but I can’t do this again. They asked if I would come with them for support. Without a doubt, I said yes.  I arrived at the facility and instead of my cheerful greeting I was a little subdue. In the waiting room I sat there quiet and I found myself thinking in my head, “why are you acting this way? What is wrong with you?” But I sat there with them and I realized I was upset. Instead of putting my arm around them or rubbing their back reassuring them it was going to be okay, I sat there silent. Then upset turned to anger. How could they do this? How could they not stop smoking? Was I not enough? Was living life with me and my family not enough? My mind directly went to the worst, what IF something was wrong. What if it’s to late to erase? I’m not the only one I have to worry about now, I have two daughters that I have to be scared for. How will they react to the news that one of the people they love the most has Cancer? How will this change their lives? How will I explain? The good news is, as my mind unfolded every bad scenario, the doctor said that it’s not likely cancer, but we needed to schedule an appointment with a Specialist.  Not sure if I was relieved or confused. The good news – the “C” word wasn’t thrown around like a rag doll so for now I could put the worst case scenario to bed.  The drive home I called my husband and told him what the doctor had said. As I was describing to him how angry I was I started to carefully listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I was mad at THEM because this addiction they had on cigarettes quite possibly jeopardized my life with them and yet despite every warning sign they kept doing it over and over. Slowly I started to reflect on my life. I was such a hypocrite. I might not be puffing on the cigarettes but I am picking up the Doughnut instead of the yogurt for breakfast. I AM running to McDonalds for a quick lunch because I made no time to plan out my day. I AM eating  double portions of dinner followed up by dessert because…why not? I love food!! I’m slowing killing myself every bite at a time every pound at a time. OH MY GOD….have I been THIS BLIND? I’ve always battled my weight for one reason or another but NEVER did I start the diet because I WANTED TO BE HEALTHY!! It was all about the number on the scale and the size on the clothes. Sad to say – for a long time – I valued my self worth on those numbers. If they were low, I was pretty.  I was worth having a boyfriend and “life was good”. If they were high…well you get the picture.

{ENTER STAGE LEFT – MY SIGN} If I continue on this path, it’s going to be my husband explaining to my daughters why mommy is no longer here. They are not going to understand. They are going to be angry. Losing their mother at a young age will change their lives forever. They are going to ask why food was more important. They are going to ask why they weren’t enough. I’ve been there. I’ve been that daughter, the only difference this time…is that I have time. I can erase what I’ve done.  I have a second chance. Ironically, my father hasn’t stopped being a father just because he’s no longer here on earth. He’s still teaching me life lessons and making me a better person, mother, and wife each and every day.

Last month I vowed to change my life. I vowed to share my story with as many people as I can no matter how uncomfortable it is for me. I vowed to be a better wife, a healthier wife, and an all around better partner for my husband. I vowed to show my daughters that you can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it. I vowed to show them life with them is more important, and they ARE ENOUGH. It’s never too late to have your moment of clarity. It’s never too late to give yourself a second chance. Truthfully honest…..I’m tired of being depressed when I walk in my closet. I’m tired of making excuses to not go out because I don’t have anything cute to wear. I’m tired of my body hurting when I get out of bed. I’m tired of missing out on pictures with my kids because I don’t want to be IN the pictures. I’m tired of not feeling sexy for my husband. I’m tired of not feeling confident about who I am. I’m….tired.

Instead of being tired ONE MORE DAY, I decided to join the 90 day Challenge with Body By Vi. I ordered the Transformation Kit the first week of March and TODAY marks my ONE MONTH on the program. Here’s what a normal day looks like now:

My daily menu looks like this:

Breakfast – Body By Vi Shake

Snack: (almonds, yogurt, celery with peanut butter, apple, cottage cheese, string cheese etc)

Lunch: Body By Vi Shake

Snack

Dinner: What I normally cook only PORTION CONTROLLED!!

3 times a week I either walk or do the elliptical (WHICH I LOVE).

For the first time, I have been able to make something QUICK that works well with my busy life. I know for sure that for two meals a day (whichever you choose) I’m feeding my body tons of proteins, nutrients and vitamins and I’m satisfied and full. I never feel like I’m wearing the “diet hat” and I never feel like I can’t enjoy all the things in life – it’s called MODERATION!!!

I will say I’m a sweet tooth girl and after being on Body By Vi for a month now I can honestly say that I haven’t had any sweet cravings. You know the kind, where it’s 8:30 and you’re making a deal with the devil because you want that bowl of ice cream SOOO bad. I also haven’t ever felt like  I want to rip my hair out because I’m frustrated that I can’t eat out or enjoy LIFE with friend. Which would inevitably lead me to being a bitch because I was grumpy or irritable.

Here is what I AM:

1. Full of energy

2. Motivated to exercise

3. Happy that every day I’m one step closer to the new me

4. DOWN 17 lbs

5. DOWN 23.5 inches

6. Excited for tomorrow. Because I know each day puts me one step closer to my goal

7. Grateful that every step of the way I have had so many supporters. That’s what I love about this program – WHAT A SUPPORT GROUP!!!

So there you have it. The good the bad and the ugly.

If you’d like to know more about the challenge you can email me at heather@heathercolephotography.com or you can JOIN THE CHALLENGE WITH ME HERE!!!

MY 30 DAY PROGRESS PICTURES – 17lbs down 23.5 inches off my body (neck, chest, upper arm, lower arm, waist, hips, thigh, calf, ankle)

For those of you who know me well – this candor is hard for me. Weight is a very sensitive thing and it’s been a battle for me for as long as I can remember. You have to stop waiting for that “Monday” to arrive or the “first of the month after your birthday party” to to start getting your health back because life is too precious to wait another minute. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of YOU for yourself and everyone around you. I’m excited that for the first time in my life – I have come to a place where my HEALTH is priority one and LIVING means more to me than bad choice over bad choice. I thank you for being a part of this journey with me, rooting me on every step of the way. I can’t imagine what the girl on the right will look like in another 30 days…..here’s to finding out.

Love,

Heather

Fact: When Elizabeth’s dad saw her for the first time it made me tear up. 1) I miss my daddy 2) Made me think about the time when one day Jake will have this same moment with both of our girls.

Fact: HANDS DOWN her bouquet ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF.

Fact: I’m obsessed with all of these bridesmaids dresses.

Fact: When editing through these photos what I loved the most is the DEEP love I see between Elizabeth and Brian. Remember that love EVERYDAY you two..hold on to it..and never let it go.

Fact: Brian’s brother Jason was one of THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE I have ever met (see images below)

Fact: Elizabeth’s Dad CAN DANCE. At one point in the evening there was a “DANCE OFF” from each side of the family. It was AWESOME (see images below)

 Elizabeth and Brian,

If you can’t tell by the last two images, I’m sort of in love with BOTH OF YOU! Thank you, THANK YOU TTHHHAANK YOOOUU for allowing me to share in the most important day of your life. I know I say this all the time but I TRULY MEAN IT…I love you guys.

Hugs,

Heather

Ceremony – Unity Temple

Reception – Embassy Suites

DJ – Complete Music

FLOWERS – GETTING THIS INFO TONIGHT AND UPDATING TOMORROW

Photographer – Heather Cole Photography

Fact: Jennifer’s bridesmaids dresses – probably my favorite of ALL TIME. I wish I had one and I was in the wedding party.

Fact: Jennifer’s wedding flowers were RIDIC (I’m a sucker for hot pink in case you didn’t know)

Fact: If I had to do it all over again, I’d want my wedding hair to look like Jennifer’s. I was a bit obsessed.

Fact: Jennifer and Scott got married on his birthday. HOW COOL IS THAT!!

Fact: The two people singing at their wedding were hands down some of the most amazing singers I’ve ever heard. For a moment I thought I was in Madison Square Garden attending a concert. WOWZA…wish I had video so I could share….

Fact: Their reception hall, The Sawyer Room, was amazing – the owners of that place REALLY know their stuff.

Jennifer and Scott -

It was a honor being a part of your wedding day. You WITHOUT A DOUBT made me feel like I was just another guest and a friend for life. I wish you both nothing but love and happiness for life, you DESERVE IT!

Hugs,

Heather

Ceremony – Visitation Catholic Church

Reception – The Sawyer Room

Hair – Beauty Brands

Photography – Heather Cole Photography

Fact: Every single kid in this wedding party were some of the cutest little kids I’ve ever seen. This family DOES NOT MAKE UGLY KIDDOS!! Tee hee

Fact: Despite a few sprinkles in the afternoon and the constant rolling of Thunder as we took portraits outside, God was kind and it never rained during the ceremony or during all the outdoor portraits we had to take after (THANK YOU LORD – YOU ARE TOO KIND).

Fact: I love it when guys wear something other than a black tux – these suits were to DIE FOR!!

Fact: I ALSO love how all the bridesmaids were wearing different dresses in different colors. SOOO CUTE

Fact: One of my favorite wedding day gifts ever was when Stephan gave Lynsay dresses for their honeymoon to Hawaii. Yep – he picked them out ALL BY HIMSELF – and girls – HE DID GOOD!

Fact: The Marching Cobras are SUPER AMAZING

Fact: Lynsay is a photographer herself so the pressure was on this day….I hope from one photographer to the other – she loves them as much as I do.

Lynsay  and Stephan,

It’s hard to put into words the love I have for you two. I SOOO enjoyed getting to know you through this process and I’m truly blessed and honored I got to be a part of your special day.
Love you,

Heather

Ceremony – Longview Mansion

DJ – Jeff Holmes

Photography – Heather Cole Photography

Needless to say – after the shoot started, my nerves settled down and I think we got some awesome shots.

Claire and Paul -

Thank you for asking ME out of the sea of photographers, ME to photograph you. I’m so honored. I hope you love them as much as I do. I think it’s always important to take pictures with the one you love, EVEN AFTER THE WEDDING!!! I hope we do this year after year.

Love you,

Heather

Special Thanks to AVA Modern for doing such a knock out job on Claire’s make up.

If you ask me, I think she needs to be a walking advertisement for Gap or Matilda Jane

Thanks Emma for letting me play with you and your family. I hope you come see me again VERY VERY SOON!!!

Hugs,

Heather

Fact: I’m in love with her wedding colors. The dresses, the shoes…RIDIC!!

Fact: Shaina from AVA Modern makeup was AMAZING. I wanna get my makeup done now!!!

Fact: This was one of the most amazing wedding parties I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. I can party with them anytime (or take shots of whiskey).

Fact: I can’t hear the song “Shots” by LMFAO and Lil Jon without thinking about our Trolly RIDE!! WOOOO HOOOO!!

Fact: Maggie – you are adorable and I love you.

Whitney and Scott -

I love you both sooo much. Thank you for inviting me into your life, allowing me to get to know the both of you and most importantly treating me like I was a friend you’ve known for years.

Your wedding day was amazing from start to finish. I’m so honored I was a part of it.

LOVE YOU!

Me

Ceremony – St. John’s United Methodist Church

Reception - Californos

Make up – AVA Modern

DJ – Phil Jay – Oldies 95

Photographer – Heather Cole Photography

Fact – I love it when people get their makeup professionally done on their wedding – it’s just SOOO beautiful.

Fact – At one point in time when were were downtown in Parkville, MO taking pictures the train was coming and the railroad arm almost hit Maria in the head until I literally picked her up and carried her away. We laughed so hard I could have quite possibly peed myself.

Fact – I love the way Casey looks at Maria. In the craziness of the day there were a few times I would catch him looking at her and without him saying a word – he was speaking a thousand words, telling her how much he loved her – meeellllttt

Church – St. Theresa Church

Reception – Hilton

DJ – PROFESSIONAL LIGHTING – JEFF VAUGHN

Hair – Jennifer (NUMBER AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST)

Photographer – Heather Cole Photography

Sadie – you have a heart of gold. Thanks for coming all this way to have your senior pictures done. I * heart* you.

Heather