The day to day life of having two kids and owning my own business has been challenging to say the least. Trying to juggle the shoots, the consultations, the editing and then being a mom has been harder than expected. If you want the honest truth – I don’t mind the chaos. I’ve learned how to be better organized and to make the time I DO have to work in my studio count, which sometimes means just unplugging. No facebook, no twitter…just work.

In addition to my crazy schedule life happened to throw us a curve ball when one of our best friends, Seth, went into the ICU. For those of you who are OLD blog readers you might remember this post I did about him in 2007. Seth went into KU Med Center’s ICU on Sunday May 16th having found out that he had not only pneumonia but that it was sepsis which was in his bloodstream. In human terms – HE WAS SUPER SICK. In addition to the tumors in his brain he’s been fighting since 2001, he had a stroke at the beginning of May and then the pneumonia was just too much and sent him back into the hospital. The whole week my husband and I were up there visiting as much as we could sometimes twice a day. Thank the LORD I have amazing clients who were flexible and allowed me to move their appointments around. I literally was a wreck and I couldn’t photograph ANYONE (thank you guys – I love you all so much). Seth had good days, and he had bad days but the one true constant was his wife, Jennifer. Not sure if you can even describe this woman. She loved taking care of Seth, loved being his wife and loved him like no other could. TRUE soulmates through and through.  She never left his side day and night praying each day the medicines they were pumping him with would turn him around. Unfortunately, he was too sick and after a week of fighting they had to remove his ventilator and he passed away on Friday the 21st. Talk about a life changing moment. I hurt for Jennifer as she sat next to Seth no longer breathing thinking about my life. Why am I so lucky? Why can’t her husband be alive like mine? Why can’t they have kids and raise them like Jake and I? I was hurting because I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell him how much I loved him and that he will always have a special place in my heart. I was hurting for my husband and all of my friends who loved him as much as I did. But in all the hurt, I somehow felt peace. Peace that Jennifer doesn’t have to watch her husband fight for life anymore and that he’s walking again in heaven. Peace knowing that even though I didn’t verbally get to tell him goodbye, he knows how I feel about him. Finally, after a few days I started feeling joy. Joy knowing that he’s in heaven, that he has no cancer, that he can walk again, that he’s seeing everyone he loved up there and knowing I’m sure my dad has already had him over for Sunday spaghetti (hee hee).

Watching someone you love die so young can really put things into perspective. Now I look at life like this… is this something that can be fixed? Will this situation (perhaps with time) get better? Is it really as bad as I think? I think more times than most – it IS fixable, it WILL get better and no – it’s NOT as bad as I think. Because truth be told it can easily (as I have witnessed) go the other way when it can’t be fixed, no matter how much time passes the situation won’t get better and yes – it is as bad as I think. Hopefully for everyone those “other times” will be far and few in between. I hope hearing about Seth helps open your eyes to understand life is too short. Each day – tell your loved ones how much you love them. If you are in a fight with a friend or a family member step back and think, is it worth it? Don’t think for one second anyone of us can’t easily be taken like Seth was and wouldn’t be awful if you had missed time with him/her because of something so trivial. Don’t sweat the small stuff people. It’s not worth it. Love every day. Love until you can’t love anymore.

Here’s a little something I made for Seth’s services. I hope you enjoy.